Donkey Haughty

A story about habits...

When my dad was about 7 years of age, he went to Mexico and met his grandfather (my great-grandfather) for the first time.  One day, he took my dad for a ride in a wagon, pulled by a donkey.  The only problem with taking a trip in the wagon was that the donkey had one bad habit:  It didn't like to go anywhere.  It was happy in its corral, eating, sleeping, and doing what donkeys do when they're not pushed to go anywhere.  

Fortunately, my great-grandfather was always able to get the donkey to move, but he had to motivate it by using a switch on its backside.  After a couple of swats, the donkey would give in and begin its march away from home, much to its disdain.  So, away they went, traveling down the dusty road, with my great-grandfather enjoying the rare company of his 7-year-old grandson, in a wagon pulled by a bummed-out donkey.    

After reaching their destination and taking care of business there, the time came to turn the cart around and point the donkey toward home.  Once that happened, the donkey suddenly became energized and took off happily down the road, trotting, without a need for a switch, as if it had a carrot hanging in front of its nose.  The donkey realized that it was finally able to go home, back to its corral, to once again eat, sleep, and do what it is that donkeys do.  

In much the same way, we can be like the donkey.  Our bad habits will cause us to return to the place where we're most comfortable.  Unless we use our own version of a "switch" to prod us along in our personal development, we will take off trotting back toward the bad habits that keep us from moving forward.  We will be the slave of bad habits until we make a conscious and sincere effort to replace them with good ones!  

50 Pounds

As of yesterday, I lost a total of fifty pounds, equivalent to that bag of sugar on the left.  It took me just over a year to do it.  That's okay though.  At least I have something to show for my investment of time.  Nothing else in my life has panned out like I hoped, but at least this did, and even though I say "at least," it's probably the most significant.

I looked at my last entry here, and I noticed that it's been four months since I last made an entry, and I said that it was getting time to get back to the gym, although I really didn't get started for about another six weeks.  My back was just hurting too much and I was pretty demotivated.  Once I did start, I became even more demotivated.  There was a lot of pain and it was very difficult to move.  I was so moody that the author from Twilight was thinking about writing a book about me.  If anything, I would title it "Breaking Down."

The good news is that I didn't gain any weight during my hiatus (nine months which includes two months of confinement to my bed and bath, but not beyond) and so I was still on track to hit some kind of mark.

My wife had recommended trying the swimming pool and using the buoyancy to help minimize pressure on the joints and muscles, even though it might be a tad bit humbling for a big guy to saunter out into the pool area with my Impeedo (big person's version of Speedo), but I had put that off for the most obvious reason - this big guy didn't want to saunter out into the pool area with his Impeedo.

But I did it anyway...and it wasn't so bad, aside from the people trying to harpoon me.

I started by just moving around in the pool, eventually learning some aerobic maneuvers in the water, and now can do about twenty lengths of the pool, using a "don't worry...I'm not drowning" stroke.  It takes me about fifteen minutes to cover eight lengths of the pool, or as my daughter calls it, "the slowest 200 in history."

Fortunately, I've made some friends - another big Mexican guy who had lost nearly 100 pounds in the past year just from cruising around in the pool, an elderly Czech gentleman who had a bypass three years ago, and was swimming for his own conditioning and has been an encouragement to me each time he sees me, a very nice lady in her 80s who swims in a two-piece bathing suit (use your imagination) just about every night, an enthusiastic nurse who has a passion for helping people live healthy, and a few young Armenian guys who enjoy the Jacuzzi at the end of their workouts, and are always good for a funny story or two.  These are just a few of the many I've met so far.

When I'm done in the pool, I relax in the Jacuzzi with the other big Mexican guy, the Czech, and some of the young Armenian guys talking about girls (in their own language - the gestures are still the same).

The neat thing about this is that while I walking the treadmill I talked to very few people. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't talk anyway because I was huffing and puffing so hard.  Floating in the water is enabling me to get the same result without killing myself and I'm making a few friends along the way.

That's how it should be done.

Yeesh!!!

Hey! I'm still here.

It's time. My wife was telling me the other day that I should take a look at my blog and read it, hoping that what I wrote in the past might inspire me. Frankly, I was just too nervous to see how long it had been since I posted anything.

Well, I looked and, well, the title explains my reaction.

I don't know whether to be inspired, embarassed, or mad. Maybe all three. It's funny (or sad) how life can get in the way and, before you know it, seven months have passed. Most people who read this know what I've been wrestling with over that time, so I'll spare you the details.

So, for now I'm going to keep it brief, but it looks like it's time for me to get back to the gym. I think it's going to hurt...that along with giving up the Hostess pies and donuts.

Yeesh....

Gap Filler: The Lion Sleeps Tonight

I'm sitting at work right now. There is no work on the queue, which seems to be a regular thing these days. Since it's been a couple of weeks since I last posted anything, I thought I'd write out a short blurb and tell you where I'm at these days. It's also a good time to pray for my wife and ask others to pray for her too: She is at work today expecting some clients who are expected to place a huge order with her (she sells furniture), which would help us to recover from a pretty miserable summer (financially). Other than that, I really have nothing new to write about. I've been unable to do anything because of a sciatic nerve issue, so there's been nothing much to report in the area of physical development.

This is not to say that nothing is going on. In the area of spiritual development, I'm constantly (more like perpetually) learning that while trials can be distressing at times (believe me, I've been distressed), the peace that I get from knowing a wonderful God and Savior truly saves me during those moments when I reach out to Him (which I have to admit are few, as I tend to enjoy feeling sorry for myself). I'm constantly having to remind myself of the verse found in 1 Peter 5:8:

"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

I love lions; they're beautiful animals, until they attack. Then...not so pretty. You're going to need a powerful weapon, like a gun. Or in my case, a sword.

Over the past few months, since I purchased an iPhone with a Bible app, I've been in the process of developing the daily habit of "serious" Bible reading - not just reading a couple of chapters a day, but reading Psalms, Proverbs, and the four Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) every month. It also includes reading Acts/New Testament in 90 days, and the Old Testament in a year. It does stand to reason why things are happening as I pursue Him more each day.

Ephesians 6:17 says that the Bible is the sword of the spirit, and in Hebrews 4:12 it says that it's sharper than any double-edged sword. A pretty powerful weapon, indeed.

The other day, however, I was feeling pretty low about my condition, and I really didn't want to get out of bed - mostly because it felt like I was being stabbed in the back with a knife and also because...well, I just didn't want to get up. My flesh was telling me to feel sorry for myself; my spirit was telling me to be alert and sober. So I rolled over, grabbed my phone that was next to my bed, and I brought up my Bible app and began reading the Psalms. I was on Day 12 for this month of my reading plan and it started with Psalm 57 which begins with the first five verses:

Have mercy on me, my God, have mercy on me, for in you I take refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.
I cry out to God Most High,to God, who vindicates me.
He sends from heaven and saves me, rebuking those who hotly pursue me—God sends forth his love and his faithfulness.
I am in the midst of lions; I am forced to dwell among ravenous beasts—men whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords.
Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth.

Wow - He has mercy on me and I can take refuge in Him in the shadow of his wings until the disaster passes, and He vindicates me. Vindication in that He has given me authority to live in His favor, and he delivers me from that which pursues me. Obviously, I don't live near any lions, but I encounter spiritual persecution, which can come in the form of infirmity, financial struggle, family issues, job issues, et cetera. And while I may not see the deliverance today, I can take comfort in knowing (if I choose to stay sober and alert, and choose to take comfort - there's a hint there) that He'll be delivering me from this sitution before long.

While I may not see it in the physical realm, God proves time and time again in my spirit that He truly can be exalted above the heavens. My only hope is that His glory can seen on the earth through me.

I'll be fine. Keep me in prayer. I'll be walking through those GB3 doors very soon now. Gotta go now; time to sharpen my sword for tomorrow.

Progress Report: Uh-Oh

This is a very, very small blog post today. But I wanted to post something before too much time between posts.

I've had a lot of uh-oh moments the past two weeks. I've spent the better part of my time nursing an irritated ankle, followed by working crazy hours just trying to make ends meet for the time being.

I must share that I've had very little time to work out. When I did have time, I was either too exhausted or too tired.

Okay, those were just a couple of excuses. Truth is, aside from the bad ankle, the tired/exhausted issue was an excuse like every other one. I just didn't want to do it bad enough. That's the only legitimate reason that flies around here.

I wish it could all be good, but I'm not perfect. I have flaws like everyone else. Scars, moles and all, this is the general picture of me for the time being.

The good news is that I'm implementing a diet strategy now to help with the exercise. So far, so good. I'll have more details on that later.

But the best news is that I'm learning how to stay positive during the down times, though I'm not the greatest student, but I'm willing to learn.

I'm not giving up, and I'm determined to have a good result this week. I'll let you know how it goes.

More to come...

Gap Filler: Go Suck a Lemon, Dave!

It's amazing how challenges arise when you make a decision. Whenever change is attempted, the challenges come fast and furious. For us, it's mostly financial. But we still have our health.

I knew that taking on this weight challenge would start things in motion that can't be explained in the natural. I just didn't think about how fast it would begin, nor did I expect this much of a drought to occur.

Currently I'm sitting here at work waiting for actual work to pop into my computer queue...I've been waiting for a while now. I signed out of my last job at 2:30 p.m. and took off to run an errand. As I write now, it's now 3:20 p.m. and still nothing on the queue.

At the same time, my wife is facing the same dilemma. She's in sales, so she doesn't earn anything unless she sells something, and nothing has been coming in her queue, i.e. the front door.

The good thing about it is that I have time to blog. I already updated my bank register (sad) and ate lunch. I don't have to go to the bathroom, so I'm good for awhile.

In what looks like a few seconds for me to type, I have been sitting here thinking about what to write about and and 30 minutes have passed. It's 3:40 p.m. now, so you can see it takes me a while to think of something to write and then type it out. That's what us "perfeshinal blawgers" do. We wait for inspiration, or in my case, perspiration.

So, I'm faced with a dilemma. I could call it a day and guarantee nothing else made for a day, or I can wait it out.

Since this is a weight loss blog I DO need to mention something about weight loss, diet, exercise, et cetera: "You know, I could have worked out during this time."

Unfortunately, my situation right now requires me to sit and wait, and pray. I've been praying like crazy though. I've got people on Facebook praying! What good is social networking if you can't utilize it, right? It really does help to network during a trial.

Speaking of trials...I really hate trials. And I'm not talking Perry Mason trials. I'm talking about trials that come with tribulation. They stink a lot and they're supposed to make us better people, right? Well, for the record, I don't like them, and it's hard to be happy about them. And, by the way, it's 4:05 p.m. now. So, what do you do when you're going through a trial? Make lemonade, right? The axiom is that when life hands us lemons, we're supposed to make lemonade. How about just throwing the lemons at someone?

Pretty bad attitude, huh? Well, I'll tell you, that's how I was feeling yesterday. Whatever the case may be, the worst thing to do is sit and stew about it. And, it's now 4:20 p.m.

But today, I am really doing pretty good. Thanks for asking.

Of course, if I had only followed today's advice yesterday, my day would have been more joyful to say the least. I had the house to myself yesterday with the afternoon off and it should have been a refreshing time, but by the time everyone got home, I was sitting slumped on the couch watching television as if I were stoned on methamphetamine, except I wasn't smiling euphorically, singing "Lemon Tree." The only one that I could think of having a more sour day than me was Moammar Gadafi, and his whole country hates him and wants to kill him. But, seriously, how bad can THAT be?

It's 4:45 now, if anyone's keeping tabs. Oh, it's me keeping tabs. There's no way for you to know unless I tell you.

Okay, so I'll admit I was frustrated yesterday, because I had tried everything I could think of to keep things from going out of control over the last couple of years. I had been following the advice of a financial guru named "Dave," like a good boy, and it still wasn't good enough. I should have bought his book or his program. This is what I get for trying to skim information off the internet. But, I've always believed that if "you don't work, you don't eat." Well, that hasn't been the case here: It's work extra long hours, make less each month, and eventually die. Plus, the registration is due on both vehicles and the my truck is making a funny noise, my shirts have holes in them, and we have no Cheetos.

Now, don't judge me. That was yesterday. I know that sounds pretty pitiful, but I was in the midst of a great pity party yesterday. The best ever. The Kardashians couldn't have thrown a bigger party. It could have been shown on TMZ, it was so big. A Cheetos-fest would have been "simply fabulous," but "simply fabulous" sounds pretty flamboyant, if you know what I mean. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Plus, our budget doesn't allow for Cheetos.

So yesterday, after chewing off my fingernails and gnawing the skin off the inside of my cheeks from stress, I begrudgingly told myself not to start on the toenails and got myself out the door to head out to the club and work out.

And it's 5:00 p.m. now. Still nothing on the queue. Sigh.

Anyway, I got to the club an hour before they closed and hit the treadmill for a good 45-plus walk just to get back in the swing of things. I'm glad I did. My performance level was still the same (I sound like a pro athlete now) and I felt pretty good afterwards. Endorphines, I suppose.

The endorphines kept me feeling pretty good until I went to bed and got a good night's sleep. Nevertheless, I woke up this morning anxious and sweating. A friend of mine told me recently that "sometimes you have to let God push the 'play' button and start moving." So, I got up, got my stuff together and sat down and had a light breakfast and coffee while going through some mail and listening to the television before leaving for work. As I sipped my coffee, I was able to hear a morning talk show host referring to the tough times that the country is facing, and "with us now to explain how to navigate through the tough times, it's Dave!"

I needed a lemon right then but I didn't have one. After throwing my peanut butter toast at the television screen, I cleaned it up and went to work.

It's 5:25 p.m. now. I'm hearing that there is a technical problem coming from XYZ, Inc., where our work originates. It appears that the voice capture regulator that supplies the security key VROM module that plugs into the interface activation circuit authenticating the deepak chopra that motivates the voice capture regulator that supplies ...well, you know where I'm going with this.

The point of my message today is that I'll keep on going, live for God, trust God to provide (although I do like having things in order), and keep pushing that "play" button and move forward each day.

And I'll keep a lemon on hand...just in case. It's easier than cleaning peanut butter.

Now, it's looking like we might have work pop up any time now. I think I'm going to gut it out for a bit, because we might get slammed with work. Ordinarily I'd be frustrated, but I'm glad it's a technical issue rather than a work supply issue.

Keep me and mine in your prayers. It's all appreciated. But, it looks like I'm closing the gym tonight unless we get slammed here at the office.

Update: It's now 6:00 p.m. My queue is now starting to fill up. It looks like it's going to be a long evening. I might have to hit the gym early morning tomorrow, but we'll see. Time to push "play."

A Final Note: I finally got out of the office at 1:30 a.m. It was a long day. Needless to say, I didn't hit the gym but I did get the needed amount of work done. Sometimes it's necessary to not be denied. But the following morning (at the time I write this addendum) my queue is at "0" once again. I'm going to go have some lemonade.

Disclaimer: No claims are made by me regarding the success or failure of "Dave's" advice in relation to my checkbook, nor in regard to any information, services, or products provided by him. Today, he just annoys me. So there.

Zeroing In

Wow, it's been a few days since I posted anything. I need to catch up here.

By the way, in case you're wondering, the picture on the left is that of a torpedo. Er...at least it's supposed to be. Stay with me on this one...you'll see where I'm going here.

So, it's been a few weeks now. Since I'm moving forward, predictably, the challenges are beginning to present themselves:

A couple of weeks ago, I took the time to weigh myself. I gained 3 pounds. Up until that moment, I had a pretty good relationship with the scale. It said nice things to me and made me feel loved, but then it started nagging at me by telling me the truth. I think I ate too much red meat and starch. I hate it now. Result: Discouragement.

Due to my late hour routine, I began to lose control of my schedule, staying up late to wind down, waking up late the next day, heading straight to work, and working late to play catchup because of fatigue, and then back to the club to work out late, and on and on, resulting in no time for myself with the potential onset of burnout. Result: Discouragement.

I woke up the other morning with an aggravated ankle, which is a result of a circulatory condition due to weight and inactivity from sitting in front of a computer all day. I think my new activity level shocked my system and it's starting to fight back. Result: Discouragement.

Like many people, the economy has hit us hard. This month, I'm dealing with a 50 percent cut in my family income, which had already been cut 40 percent over the past two years, resulting in wonderful discussions around the kitchen table at bill-paying time about our inability to pay for luxuries, like food and gas. Result: Discouragement.

Setbacks, family stressors, job issues, financial struggles, health challenges, car trouble, our dog taking off down the street, stress incontinence (okay not so much), and Netflix losing the rights to video-stream Dexter episodes have given me some frustration over the past few weeks since I started hitting the treadmill. Result: Discouragement.

I can't even enjoy sports right now. The Giants have lost 13 out of their last 18 games, and the 49ers' starting quarterback can't even pass gas. Result: Discouragement.

To top it off, and I don't know why, I always seem to attract the club weirdo who likes to sing out loud and beat his fists on his console while listening to his headphones and spraying sweat over me as he waves his arms to some kind of 5/4 rhythm, trying to do a Roger Bannister impression as if he were breaking a 4-minute mile. Result: Not really discouragement, just irritated. I hope he has a You Tube "Fail" moment.

I'm once again learning that in order to accomplish my goal, there will be setbacks and challenges, and I have to maintain a clear vision by zeroing in on my target like a torpedo.

Torpedos are pretty remarkable weapons (except for the lame one in the picture). They whiz through the water with only a propeller and some fins to keep it somewhat straight as it travels to its unfortunate target. The nice thing about them is that no one is needed to steer it. It locks onto a target and begins its journey to it's glorious end by relying on gyros inside it to communicate directionality, constantly making corrections to it as it drifts off course in one direction or another, getting it back on course. It's in a perpetual state of adjustment until it's time for the Great Kaboom.

Pretty simple: Launch, lock on target, drifting, correcting, back on target, drifting, correct, on target, and KABOOM! Goodbye enemy ship.

Goal-oriented people have their targets and, like a torpedo, are focused on it, listening to their gyros, making adjustments along the way until they reach their goal.

Most people, unfortunately, let their gyros get to them. They don't say stuff like: "I didn't lose any weight - let's evaluate my diet." Nor do they say: "I'm tired - let's work on getting more rest." Instead, excuses abound, such as: "I didn't lose any weight! I'm too tired! I'm sore! I'm stressed! I have no time! I'm broke! It's Shark Week! (ok, that one is mine)." We start finding reasons to quit and stay home.

What if torpedos were like people? What would happen if a torpedo took failure personally and couldn't handle it?

It would be more like: Launch, lock on target, drifting, correcting, torpedo takes the correction personally, begins to cry, says "Why me? Forget this! I'm going back home!"

Sad torpedo turns around and heads back home, the submarine captain looks through his periscope, announces to the crew that they are about to have an "Oh Crap" moment, starts cursing the recruiter that suckered him into joining the Navy, and then experiences the Great Kaboom.

Goodbye torpedo. Goodbye submarine. Goodbye captain.

Believe me, there are times when I wanted to turn around and go home, but all that will accomplish is regret for not working out, plus the TV shows are better at the club. No Kardashians or Bridezillas on their televisions.

Ultimately, my goal is part of God's bigger plan for me. I know if I stay focused on the true Target, the goal will come to pass. I'm blessed to have my Target; He keeps me going and He adjusts my gyros as needed. He keeps me keeping on, and I'm trusting in Him to take care of the other stuff as well, resulting in fewer ISTBM (It Sucks To Be Me) moments.

It's time to go now. The dog took off again...






(Maddie - our 13-year-old puppy)