Gap Filler: The Lion Sleeps Tonight

I'm sitting at work right now. There is no work on the queue, which seems to be a regular thing these days. Since it's been a couple of weeks since I last posted anything, I thought I'd write out a short blurb and tell you where I'm at these days. It's also a good time to pray for my wife and ask others to pray for her too: She is at work today expecting some clients who are expected to place a huge order with her (she sells furniture), which would help us to recover from a pretty miserable summer (financially). Other than that, I really have nothing new to write about. I've been unable to do anything because of a sciatic nerve issue, so there's been nothing much to report in the area of physical development.

This is not to say that nothing is going on. In the area of spiritual development, I'm constantly (more like perpetually) learning that while trials can be distressing at times (believe me, I've been distressed), the peace that I get from knowing a wonderful God and Savior truly saves me during those moments when I reach out to Him (which I have to admit are few, as I tend to enjoy feeling sorry for myself). I'm constantly having to remind myself of the verse found in 1 Peter 5:8:

"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

I love lions; they're beautiful animals, until they attack. Then...not so pretty. You're going to need a powerful weapon, like a gun. Or in my case, a sword.

Over the past few months, since I purchased an iPhone with a Bible app, I've been in the process of developing the daily habit of "serious" Bible reading - not just reading a couple of chapters a day, but reading Psalms, Proverbs, and the four Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) every month. It also includes reading Acts/New Testament in 90 days, and the Old Testament in a year. It does stand to reason why things are happening as I pursue Him more each day.

Ephesians 6:17 says that the Bible is the sword of the spirit, and in Hebrews 4:12 it says that it's sharper than any double-edged sword. A pretty powerful weapon, indeed.

The other day, however, I was feeling pretty low about my condition, and I really didn't want to get out of bed - mostly because it felt like I was being stabbed in the back with a knife and also because...well, I just didn't want to get up. My flesh was telling me to feel sorry for myself; my spirit was telling me to be alert and sober. So I rolled over, grabbed my phone that was next to my bed, and I brought up my Bible app and began reading the Psalms. I was on Day 12 for this month of my reading plan and it started with Psalm 57 which begins with the first five verses:

Have mercy on me, my God, have mercy on me, for in you I take refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.
I cry out to God Most High,to God, who vindicates me.
He sends from heaven and saves me, rebuking those who hotly pursue me—God sends forth his love and his faithfulness.
I am in the midst of lions; I am forced to dwell among ravenous beasts—men whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords.
Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth.

Wow - He has mercy on me and I can take refuge in Him in the shadow of his wings until the disaster passes, and He vindicates me. Vindication in that He has given me authority to live in His favor, and he delivers me from that which pursues me. Obviously, I don't live near any lions, but I encounter spiritual persecution, which can come in the form of infirmity, financial struggle, family issues, job issues, et cetera. And while I may not see the deliverance today, I can take comfort in knowing (if I choose to stay sober and alert, and choose to take comfort - there's a hint there) that He'll be delivering me from this sitution before long.

While I may not see it in the physical realm, God proves time and time again in my spirit that He truly can be exalted above the heavens. My only hope is that His glory can seen on the earth through me.

I'll be fine. Keep me in prayer. I'll be walking through those GB3 doors very soon now. Gotta go now; time to sharpen my sword for tomorrow.

Gap Filler: Go Suck a Lemon, Dave!

It's amazing how challenges arise when you make a decision. Whenever change is attempted, the challenges come fast and furious. For us, it's mostly financial. But we still have our health.

I knew that taking on this weight challenge would start things in motion that can't be explained in the natural. I just didn't think about how fast it would begin, nor did I expect this much of a drought to occur.

Currently I'm sitting here at work waiting for actual work to pop into my computer queue...I've been waiting for a while now. I signed out of my last job at 2:30 p.m. and took off to run an errand. As I write now, it's now 3:20 p.m. and still nothing on the queue.

At the same time, my wife is facing the same dilemma. She's in sales, so she doesn't earn anything unless she sells something, and nothing has been coming in her queue, i.e. the front door.

The good thing about it is that I have time to blog. I already updated my bank register (sad) and ate lunch. I don't have to go to the bathroom, so I'm good for awhile.

In what looks like a few seconds for me to type, I have been sitting here thinking about what to write about and and 30 minutes have passed. It's 3:40 p.m. now, so you can see it takes me a while to think of something to write and then type it out. That's what us "perfeshinal blawgers" do. We wait for inspiration, or in my case, perspiration.

So, I'm faced with a dilemma. I could call it a day and guarantee nothing else made for a day, or I can wait it out.

Since this is a weight loss blog I DO need to mention something about weight loss, diet, exercise, et cetera: "You know, I could have worked out during this time."

Unfortunately, my situation right now requires me to sit and wait, and pray. I've been praying like crazy though. I've got people on Facebook praying! What good is social networking if you can't utilize it, right? It really does help to network during a trial.

Speaking of trials...I really hate trials. And I'm not talking Perry Mason trials. I'm talking about trials that come with tribulation. They stink a lot and they're supposed to make us better people, right? Well, for the record, I don't like them, and it's hard to be happy about them. And, by the way, it's 4:05 p.m. now. So, what do you do when you're going through a trial? Make lemonade, right? The axiom is that when life hands us lemons, we're supposed to make lemonade. How about just throwing the lemons at someone?

Pretty bad attitude, huh? Well, I'll tell you, that's how I was feeling yesterday. Whatever the case may be, the worst thing to do is sit and stew about it. And, it's now 4:20 p.m.

But today, I am really doing pretty good. Thanks for asking.

Of course, if I had only followed today's advice yesterday, my day would have been more joyful to say the least. I had the house to myself yesterday with the afternoon off and it should have been a refreshing time, but by the time everyone got home, I was sitting slumped on the couch watching television as if I were stoned on methamphetamine, except I wasn't smiling euphorically, singing "Lemon Tree." The only one that I could think of having a more sour day than me was Moammar Gadafi, and his whole country hates him and wants to kill him. But, seriously, how bad can THAT be?

It's 4:45 now, if anyone's keeping tabs. Oh, it's me keeping tabs. There's no way for you to know unless I tell you.

Okay, so I'll admit I was frustrated yesterday, because I had tried everything I could think of to keep things from going out of control over the last couple of years. I had been following the advice of a financial guru named "Dave," like a good boy, and it still wasn't good enough. I should have bought his book or his program. This is what I get for trying to skim information off the internet. But, I've always believed that if "you don't work, you don't eat." Well, that hasn't been the case here: It's work extra long hours, make less each month, and eventually die. Plus, the registration is due on both vehicles and the my truck is making a funny noise, my shirts have holes in them, and we have no Cheetos.

Now, don't judge me. That was yesterday. I know that sounds pretty pitiful, but I was in the midst of a great pity party yesterday. The best ever. The Kardashians couldn't have thrown a bigger party. It could have been shown on TMZ, it was so big. A Cheetos-fest would have been "simply fabulous," but "simply fabulous" sounds pretty flamboyant, if you know what I mean. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Plus, our budget doesn't allow for Cheetos.

So yesterday, after chewing off my fingernails and gnawing the skin off the inside of my cheeks from stress, I begrudgingly told myself not to start on the toenails and got myself out the door to head out to the club and work out.

And it's 5:00 p.m. now. Still nothing on the queue. Sigh.

Anyway, I got to the club an hour before they closed and hit the treadmill for a good 45-plus walk just to get back in the swing of things. I'm glad I did. My performance level was still the same (I sound like a pro athlete now) and I felt pretty good afterwards. Endorphines, I suppose.

The endorphines kept me feeling pretty good until I went to bed and got a good night's sleep. Nevertheless, I woke up this morning anxious and sweating. A friend of mine told me recently that "sometimes you have to let God push the 'play' button and start moving." So, I got up, got my stuff together and sat down and had a light breakfast and coffee while going through some mail and listening to the television before leaving for work. As I sipped my coffee, I was able to hear a morning talk show host referring to the tough times that the country is facing, and "with us now to explain how to navigate through the tough times, it's Dave!"

I needed a lemon right then but I didn't have one. After throwing my peanut butter toast at the television screen, I cleaned it up and went to work.

It's 5:25 p.m. now. I'm hearing that there is a technical problem coming from XYZ, Inc., where our work originates. It appears that the voice capture regulator that supplies the security key VROM module that plugs into the interface activation circuit authenticating the deepak chopra that motivates the voice capture regulator that supplies ...well, you know where I'm going with this.

The point of my message today is that I'll keep on going, live for God, trust God to provide (although I do like having things in order), and keep pushing that "play" button and move forward each day.

And I'll keep a lemon on hand...just in case. It's easier than cleaning peanut butter.

Now, it's looking like we might have work pop up any time now. I think I'm going to gut it out for a bit, because we might get slammed with work. Ordinarily I'd be frustrated, but I'm glad it's a technical issue rather than a work supply issue.

Keep me and mine in your prayers. It's all appreciated. But, it looks like I'm closing the gym tonight unless we get slammed here at the office.

Update: It's now 6:00 p.m. My queue is now starting to fill up. It looks like it's going to be a long evening. I might have to hit the gym early morning tomorrow, but we'll see. Time to push "play."

A Final Note: I finally got out of the office at 1:30 a.m. It was a long day. Needless to say, I didn't hit the gym but I did get the needed amount of work done. Sometimes it's necessary to not be denied. But the following morning (at the time I write this addendum) my queue is at "0" once again. I'm going to go have some lemonade.

Disclaimer: No claims are made by me regarding the success or failure of "Dave's" advice in relation to my checkbook, nor in regard to any information, services, or products provided by him. Today, he just annoys me. So there.

Gap Filler: A Paradox

Until a couple of days ago, I had never heard of Dr. Niels Bohr. I came across a quote of his that he made years ago. For those who are interested, he is a Danish physicist who won the Nobel Prize for physics almost 90 years ago, in 1922. He also helped to create the first atomic bomb as part of the Manhattan Project. Dr. Bohr has a lot of interesting quotes, none of which I can understand (maybe because they're in Danish), but the one translated quote from him that caught my attention was: "The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth. "

"Huh?"

People who win Nobel Prizes for physics talk like that a lot. Sometimes they don't seem to make sense.

Once I looked at that quote a little more deeply, it was apparent that this quote was really a paradox, which is a statement with an intrinsic conflict - two ideas, each that are true when standing alone, but seem to contradict each other when lined up together in the same sentence or phrase.

And no, a paradox does not consist of two physicians or two places where boats can park.

By the way, that atomic bomb that Dr. Bohr helped to create was a paradox in itself. It was created to prevent more lives from being lost. It's believed that millions of Japanese would have died as a result of a ground assault instead of the thousands that perished in the atomic blasts that ended World War II.

Another great example of a paradox was when Jesus said, "To save your life you must lose it." The words themselves do not make much sense until you think about it a little bit more deeply and in a larger scope. Because a phrase like this is often contrary to what common sense would indicate, you need to use common sense to comprehend it.

Confused? Welcome to the club.

Here are some more quotes that really apply to me:

"Real security come from being comfortable with insecurity. "

"Less stressful living will require stressful changes."

"The more you try to control, the more likely you'll be controlled."

"It takes more effort to be happy than it does to be unhappy. "

"It'll take more pain now for my normal pain to go away. " That's my quote, by the way.

In Proverbs, it says: "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end leads to death."

As a believer for 24 years, I've been doing that which seems right to a man: Serve God, work hard, take care of family, live a clean life, behave yourself, and all the other wonderful things that others would consider selfless. I never took the time to take care of my own self because I always considered it selfish to make time for me. Put yourself last, I always heard. Make sure there's a roof over everyone's head and food on the table first. I was sold a bill of goods that the world lives by. Sometimes, you have to do what's good for you first, before you can do what's right for everyone else.

There is a reason why flight attendants instruct you to put your mask on first in the event of sudden cabin pressure loss, before you put a mask on your child.

I sacrificed the vital for the urgent.

At this point in my life, I could work a couple of more hours each day, but what I earn will just get spent (quickly, I might add), or I could invest the couple of hours on my health, which will open up the possibility for a better opportunity down the road (if physical health is a requirement for a better job). I could give up some time with the family for an hour or two in order to be able to have the energy level to spend quality time with them later on, whereas now I could play slug in front of the television watching the shows that no one else wants to watch.

The answer is pretty simple for me...and it's not even a paradox.

For me to save my life, I must lose it. As a believer in Christ, I have to consistently desire Him more than anything or anyone else in my own life. Only then can I see His blessing. Right now, the greatest honor I can give Him right now is to offer myself daily in this effort to achieve victory in this battle that I'm in. I believe He will bless my effort.

And who knows? Perhaps 90 years from now, someone will quote me and get inspired...

Gap Filler: TV Weight Loss

A word or two about TV weight loss shows: Appropriately enough, they were showing "Extreme Makeover - Weight Loss Edition" on the club television the other night as I tortured myself with my treadmill workout. It focused on a 445-pound woman whose goal was to lose 300 pounds in one year. To top it off, they made her wear stretchy pants. Ow.

She had a lot of issues: Her weight, a sick child, unable to fit in a car, and she cried a lot. To be fair, I suffer from similar things: Weight, not fitting in cars, crying a lot (especially when Big Macs are at a two-for-one price). I don't have a sick child, but sometimes they can drive me to mental illness.

So the star of the show (I can't remember his name) tells her that she would get a car if she lost a hundred pounds in three months. She hit the goal, got the car, and then was on her own for the next couple of months. Hooray.

Note: I hereby proclaim that I am more than willing to receive a car when I lose 100 pounds (in case anyone is listening and feels inspired to give). I'll take a million dollars too, since I'm on the subject.

Let's get back on point here. Did I say she that after hitting her goal, she was on her own for a couple of months? I did, didn't I? Okay, now get this:

She gained 30 pounds!

She even had exercise equipment installed in her own home! What does one need to be motivated?

Obviously she slacked off during that time, allowing life to get in the way and influence her decisions. To be fair, she has a daughter who had a severe seizure episode during that period of time. But her daughter recovered, and for the remainder of time it should have been rather routine. It's more than likely she gained 40-50 pounds before she kicked it in gear the last couple of weeks, in order to have a result that wouldn't be as discouraging.

Maybe it's me, but if I was on television and the whole nation was watching me, I'd be eating lettuce only for the next year. Being accountable to 783 people (my number of Facebook friends as of today) is motivation enough.

I don't have enough space to list the challenges going on in my life right now. But I'll tell you what, I could wipe them all out with a magic wand today and there will be more challenges tomorrow.

All in all, she lost about 180 pounds over one year, which is fantastic. She hit 60 percent of her goal. She had some motivation, but it appeared to me that she lacked the true inner strength to reach 100 percent.

I've got One that's far better than a television show and I don't have to wait for a producer to call me. He'll answer me Himself every time I call.

I've learned where my Strength lies. He is the One who moved me in this direction, and for me, it's not a matter of "if," but "when."

I may not win a car, and I may not win a million dollars, but when this is done, the victory will be worth a million to me.

But, I'm still open...

Gap Filler: "Balance, Not Perfection"

I decided to write a "Gap Filler" post, just to bridge the gap between postings. Some people would like to hear from me more than once a week, and I guess that's a good thing. Since I look forward to reading other blogger's posts, I'm always eager to read them as soon as I can, and I hope mine can elicit the same response. It'll be a lot shorter in the future, and will be based on subjects that comes to mind at the time; nothing too detailed. I love this picture of this hamburger-lover, by the way. He really looks happy. That's kind of what I look like when I'm eating a big burger.

The "Gap Filler" theme comes from Ezekiel 22:30, which says "I looked for someone among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found no one." My hope is to successfully stand in the gap for God in my own personal life as I make this journey.

The verse points to God’s warnings of judgment to Judah and Jerusalem, resulting in their being taken into captivity by their enemies, should they fail to change their hearts toward God. They didn't believe that God has their best interest at heart; and for that matter, neither did I. The people went into captivity, by not allowing God to guide them, similar to how I've gone into physical captivity, by not allowing God to guide me in the direction he wanted me to go for my benefit. As a result, I've been eating Babylonian burgers for years...with cheese.

Not to be preachy, but I'm discovering that sharing my progress does require some accountability on my part and I need to be as open as I can.

Openness can be a challenge, as our First Lady Michelle Obama can attest. Recently, the press has had our First Lady in their cross-hairs, especially when she's hitting the restaurant scene. A few days ago they got their wish; they busted her chowing down on a 1700 calorie meal with a burger, fries, and chocolate shake at a new burger joint in town. For anyone else, this would be okay, but her official platform is that of promoting healthy eating habits.

Oops.

I can't say I blame her though; I'd rather have a burger than a carrot.

I'm not trying to join the crowd on pointing the finger at her; the only reason I'm bringing this up is because of an interesting quote that stood out in one article regarding this. She was quoted as saying:

"Healthy eating is about balance and not perfection." Amen to that. Shouldn't our lives be like that as well?

Shows like The Biggest Loser illustrate the massive weight loss that large people can go through in a rather short time. It's common to see a large man lose 20 pounds in one week. We're conditioned to watch these shows and assume that they have the perfect weight loss plan. They don't. Their plans are effective, but they take a considerable amount of time commitment, qualified trainers, a suitable venue, certified dietitians, training intensity, and other things that few of us have on a daily basis. I'm definitely not criticizing the show. The show proves time and time again that their plan works, but that choreographed and edited version of life doesn't exist in my world. Even if I were to put in an application to get on the show, I can't spend my time waiting for their producers to pick me from the thousands that would be doing the same. It's a lottery pick at best. I have to also mention that Jillian Michaels scares me.

I lost 7 pounds in two weeks, which is something anyone can do. It's not impressive-sounding by comparison to a top-rated show, and it's not a perfect plan, but it does work. And, it's still at a pace for me to lose close to 200 pounds in one year.

Not a bad deal.

Balance, not perfection. I can live with that.